“Am I forgiven?”

A question from a client, she had just one.

Can you feel the weight of it in your heart?

It reminded me of when I lived in Thailand, back in 2013, I found a small cat curled up on my front door mat.

To my delight he hung around, so I gave him water, milk, and tuna.

One day, I saw he had two huge puncture marks on his leg that were NOT looking nice. 🤢

Off to the vet – turns out my new furry friend had been bitten by a dog 😞

“He must stay inside for 7 days, take antibiotics, no outside!” the vet said sternly.

“Uhm…” I stuttered, “He’s not my cat!”

“If he go outside with no antibiotics, he die!”

Your move, Colleen. 😉

I got him home, I bought bowls, litter, litter tray, and food.

I called him Timmy ♥️

The love that blossomed was life changing for me. He was the sweetest, most affectionate cat.

I hadn’t realised quite how lonely I was until he arrived.

He used to charge up the steps to greet me when I came home, making my elderly Thai neighbour laugh with delight.

He became my world.

I shared picture after picture of Timmy doing yoga with me, Timmy on my bed, Timmy doing this, Timmy doing that.

Then one day, he weed himself. Back to the vet we went.

The news devastated me. He had feline HIV, his kidneys were failing.

They had to book him in to ‘hospital’ so I sat with him until the vet closed that night, telling him how much I loved him & that everything was going to be ok.

For the next 7 days, he deteriorated, lost weight, went on a drip.

Every day I’d be there at opening hours for an hour, returning for 2 hours later before they closed.

I’d read to him. I’d take him out his cage & cuddle him, I’d tell him I loved him & that everything was going to be okay.

On the evening of the 8th night, I had to work late so I called the vet to say I wouldn’t make it that night, but I’d be there first thing in the morning.

The next morning, the vet called to say Timmy had died. 💥

Did Timmy wait for me that night? How did he feel that his mum, who said she loved him & that everything was going to be okay, didn’t come that night?

“Am I forgiven?”

The thought still haunts me. 😢

You might be thinking, you’re an animal communicator, why don’t you ask him?

Because I don’t feel ready. 😢 Even now, 10 years later.

Many people contact me with heart wrenching stories, similar to mine and when I offer to get in touch with their animal, they say that they aren’t ready.

You might be one of those. I know how it feels, I understand you’re not ready.

But I’m here for when you are 💔

DM me if YOU need closure♥️