If you’re struggling to come up with a question, I have roughly categorised the most popular questions so that you can get some guidance on what to ask, or at least have some ideas.
The groupings are not set in stone, you might want to use a question from one group in another section. There is no right or wrong way.
The questions I always ask are:
Do you feel strong/comfortable?
Are you in any discomfort?
And if yes, is if intermittent or constant?
Are you in any pain?
Is there anything you’d like to say?
Foods
- If there are a variety of foods that you feed them, tell me what they are and I’ll ask which ones they prefer and why?
Vet
- How do you feel about going to the vet?
- What can we do to make vet appointments feel less stressful for you?
Social
- Would you prefer to be the only pet in our home?
- Show me how you play?
- Is there a form of play you’d like us to make time for?
Household
- Are you happy as part of our family?
- What do you think of the other animals in the household?
- How do you feel about the people in the household?
- What do you think your role is in our family?
Preferences
- What do you love/what can we do more of?
- What do you not like/what can we do less of?
- How do you like to give and receive love?
- What is your favourite activity?
Philosophical
- What would you like us to know?
- What lessons have you learnt in your lifetime with us?
Physical Wellbeing
- Where is your favourite place to be/walk/travel to?
- Where do you like to sleep?
- What kind of work would you like to do?
Emotional Wellbeing
- What can we do to make your life easier?
- Can I do anything to help you?
- Do you need to feel happier? / What would make you happier?
- Are you relaxed? / What would help you relax more?
- What scares or frightens you?
- Do you feel safe?
- Do you feel loved?
- Please share with me details of your past that still affect you, and could potentially cause difficulties for you in your future with me…
- Have you spoken with X? (An animal or person in the family that has already transitioned.)
Animals that are preparing to pass
❤️How are you experiencing things right now?
“How are you feeling in your body at the moment?”
“What are you finding difficult?”
“Is there anything that would make you more comfortable?”
“Are there particular things you need from your person right now?”
“Are you tired?”
“Do you feel frightened, peaceful, restless, or something else?”
“Is there anything about your physical experience that you want your person to understand?”
That last one could be particularly useful where you are struggling to interpret what they’re seeing.
❤️ What do you want your person to know?
“What do you most want your person to know about how you feel about them?”
“Do you have anything you want to thank them for?”
“Is there anything you want to reassure them about?”
“Is there anything you think they are worrying about unnecessarily?”
“Is there anything you want to say that you haven’t been able to say before?”
“What do you want them to remember about your life together?”
“If your person could hear only one thing from you today, what would you want it to be?”
That can produce something incredibly simple and powerful.
🌙 Questions around the approaching transition
These need to be very carefully approached so as to avoid the animal being responsible for any decisions.
“How do you feel about the possibility of leaving your body?”
“Do you feel that you are moving towards a time of transition?”
“What would you like your person to understand about your journey towards leaving?”
“Is there anything you need before you feel complete?”
“Is there anything you want to experience or share with your person while you are still together?”
“Is there anything you want your person to know about the timing of your transition?”
And perhaps one of the most useful:
“What would help you feel that your time here is complete?”
That opens the door without implying that the animal must make a decision.
🕊️ If euthanasia is being considered
This is where I think the questions can become especially supportive, while reminding you that the role of making the medical decision is shared with your veterinary team.
“How are you experiencing your quality of life at the moment?”
“What parts of your day still bring you pleasure?”
“What has become difficult or uncomfortable for you?”
“What would you like your person to understand about the choices they are facing?”
“What would you like them to know about helping you when the time comes?”
“What would make the transition feel peaceful and loving to you?”
“What would you like your person to know if they are struggling with the decision?”
“What do you want your person to remember if they have to make a difficult decision for you?”
🐾 If the animal is still enjoying life
This is an important category because sometimes you are so frightened of losing them that you’re already grieving while your animal is still very much present.
“What are you still enjoying about being here?”
“What makes you happy at the moment?”
“What do you want to keep doing for as long as you’re able?”
“What makes you feel most alive?”
“Is there anything your person is doing that you’d like them to continue?”
“What would you like them to focus on rather than worrying about losing you?”
🌸 For unfinished business
“Is there anything between you and your person that feels unfinished?”
“Is there anything you want to forgive or be forgiven for?”
“Is there anything you want your person to let go of?”
“Is there anything you wish you’d done together?”
“Is there anything you still want to give them?”
“Is there anything you want to leave behind for your person?”
That could be a memory, a feeling, a lesson, a particular quality—or simply permission to continue living.
✨ And finally, the beautiful questions
“What has this relationship meant to you?”
“What has your person given you?”
“What do you feel you have given them?”
“What is your favourite memory of your life together?”
“What makes you laugh about your person?”
“What do you love most about them?”
“If you could give them one final gift, what would it be?”
“What would you like your person to carry with them after you leave?”
“When your person thinks of you in the future, how would you like them to feel?”
Animals that have passed
For Closure and Comfort
How did you feel about your life with your person?
How are you feeling now?
Did you feel loved and cared for?
What would you like your person to know about your passing?
Did you choose the moment you left, or was there something important about the timing?
Do you want them to release any guilt or worry about what happened?
For Messages of Connection
What signs are you sending to show you’re still around?
How can your person feel closer to you now?
What would you like them to do when they’re missing you?
What happy memory would you like them to hold on to?
For Healing and Growth
What lessons did you hope to teach your person in this lifetime?
What lessons did you learn in this lifetime?
Is there something they can do for themselves now, in your honor?
Do you have guidance about other animals in their life, or ones to come?
How do you want them to keep your bond alive?
Do you have other journeys to prepare for?
For Validation and Peace
What do you want to say about the decisions made at the end of your life?
Do you want to share where you are or what it’s like now?
Do you have a message for the rest of the family—human or animal?
When the Passing Was Sudden or Traumatic
These help address shock, guilt, or unresolved emotions:
Did you know it was your time, or was it unexpected for you too?
Is there anything you want to say about how it happened?
What message do you have for your person about any guilt, anger, or confusion they’re feeling?
Were you in pain, and how do you want them to remember your last moments?
What signs can you send to help them know you’re safe and at peace now?
When the Passing Was Peaceful or Planned
These bring gratitude, comfort, and reassurance:
Were you ready to go when you did?
How do you feel about the care and love you received in your final days?
What moment or memory do you want your person to cherish most?
What would you like to say about the way they helped you cross over?
What blessing or wish do you have for them as they move forward?
For Both Situations
To create a bridge of ongoing love and connection:
How can they feel your presence day-to-day?
Is there a way you’d like to keep supporting them from where you are?
Do you have a message for the other animals in the household?
What lesson or gift do you want them to carry with them always?
Animals that are preparing to pass
❤️How are you experiencing things right now?
“How are you feeling in your body at the moment?”
“What are you finding difficult?”
“Is there anything that would make you more comfortable?”
“Are there particular things you need from your person right now?”
“Are you tired?”
“Do you feel frightened, peaceful, restless, or something else?”
“Is there anything about your physical experience that you want your person to understand?”
That last one could be particularly useful where you are struggling to interpret what they’re seeing.
❤️ What do you want your person to know?
“What do you most want your person to know about how you feel about them?”
“Do you have anything you want to thank them for?”
“Is there anything you want to reassure them about?”
“Is there anything you think they are worrying about unnecessarily?”
“Is there anything you want to say that you haven’t been able to say before?”
“What do you want them to remember about your life together?”
“If your person could hear only one thing from you today, what would you want it to be?”
That can produce something incredibly simple and powerful.
🌙 Questions around the approaching transition
These need to be very carefully approached so as to avoid the animal being responsible for any decisions.
“How do you feel about the possibility of leaving your body?”
“Do you feel that you are moving towards a time of transition?”
“What would you like your person to understand about your journey towards leaving?”
“Is there anything you need before you feel complete?”
“Is there anything you want to experience or share with your person while you are still together?”
“Is there anything you want your person to know about the timing of your transition?”
And perhaps one of the most useful:
“What would help you feel that your time here is complete?”
That opens the door without implying that the animal must make a decision.
🕊️ If euthanasia is being considered
This is where I think the questions can become especially supportive, while reminding you that the role of making the medical decision is shared with your veterinary team.
“How are you experiencing your quality of life at the moment?”
“What parts of your day still bring you pleasure?”
“What has become difficult or uncomfortable for you?”
“What would you like your person to understand about the choices they are facing?”
“What would you like them to know about helping you when the time comes?”
“What would make the transition feel peaceful and loving to you?”
“What would you like your person to know if they are struggling with the decision?”
“What do you want your person to remember if they have to make a difficult decision for you?”
🐾 If the animal is still enjoying life
This is an important category because sometimes you are so frightened of losing them that you’re already grieving while your animal is still very much present.
“What are you still enjoying about being here?”
“What makes you happy at the moment?”
“What do you want to keep doing for as long as you’re able?”
“What makes you feel most alive?”
“Is there anything your person is doing that you’d like them to continue?”
“What would you like them to focus on rather than worrying about losing you?”
🌸 For unfinished business
“Is there anything between you and your person that feels unfinished?”
“Is there anything you want to forgive or be forgiven for?”
“Is there anything you want your person to let go of?”
“Is there anything you wish you’d done together?”
“Is there anything you still want to give them?”
“Is there anything you want to leave behind for your person?”
That could be a memory, a feeling, a lesson, a particular quality—or simply permission to continue living.
✨ And finally, the beautiful questions
“What has this relationship meant to you?”
“What has your person given you?”
“What do you feel you have given them?”
“What is your favourite memory of your life together?”
“What makes you laugh about your person?”
“What do you love most about them?”
“If you could give them one final gift, what would it be?”
“What would you like your person to carry with them after you leave?”
“When your person thinks of you in the future, how would you like them to feel?”
